Thoughts on relationships, love, and flirting

I've been pondering this a lot lately. I've made some mistakes in my life when it's come to guys....most girls have. I, being the typical teenage fool of a girl, fell for a boy when I was about 14. That lasted until I was 18, believe it or not. Then I had a random...well, I guess it's best to call it a rebound summer with another guy. Nuff said on that one. I learned a lot throughout this whole situation. The entire time I was "in love", or whatever you so chose to call it, I realized a few things. The first is that I learned how much time I had taken away from God, and put into this guy. It became almost an idolatry thing for me. And I realized that a lot of relationships are like this, if you don't constantly check yourself and make sure god is the head still.

The rest of what I learned ties into a lot of what I've been thinking recently. I've watched as several of my close friends lately have either ended a relationship, or had their respective boyfriends or girlfriends call the relationship off. And I've seen the pain, and I remember the pain that I went through. And the more I see it, the more I realize that it's pointless....God created our heart for one person. Not for multiple. So when we're constantly "falling" for guys or girls, slowly we're giving away pieces of our hearts. A lot of times, this occurs without knowing whether or not the respective person is interested...and more likely than not, they aren't. It's like an illustration a guy I know used one time when talking about this. Say you have a nametag, one of those sticky ones. And you stick it on your shirt once, and then remove it. It's still sticky enough to use again. But the more you do this, the less sticky it becomes. Until it's hard to make it stay anywhere. This is what giving part of your heart away is like.

I'm not saying this path is easy to follow. NOT liking a guy is significantly harder than liking a guy, I know. But though it's the path less traveled, and takes significantly more work to do, it's a less thorny path. Now don't get legalistic with this, in that you can never like a guy ever. But like Jane Austen said in Northanger Abbey: " for if it be true, as a celebrated writer has maintained, that no young lady can be justified in falling in love before the gentleman's love is declared, it must be very improper that a young lady should dream of a gentleman before the gentleman is first known to have dreamt of her."

Onto my views on flirting. This is something that has annoyed me for years. I've always disliked it when people flirt, particularly when the flirting isn't returned, and it's obvious that the (typically) girl is throwing themselves at the guy (typically....sometimes this is reversed). But after a conversation with Lizzie (what are best friends for?) I've realized that even so much as singling another person out over others can have the same vibe as flirting. It's not as severe, but it is still a form of flirting. And the only time this should occur is when the person in question is serious about starting a relationship.

Once again, I have to caution against taking this to the extreme. I have quite a few guy friends, I always have. But there's a difference between having guy friends, talking to them, and spending time with them, and flirting. When it's evident that they are the first person you go to before your girlfriends, especially if you are not related to them or they are not your boyfriend/fiance/husband, then there is a slight problem there. And I think this is where so many girls and guys end up getting their heartbroken.

Into the Wild

We had to watch a movie in class and write an in-class essay. This is the one I wrote, and I figured I'd post it. :)


Chris's Values and our Culture:

As I watched Into the Wild, I almost saw myself in the film. I could see how each person in the movie is influenced by culture, and how much environment can influence their actions and decisions. Chris had many ideals and values, but his aim in life was to influence the culture of today. The primary three things that he tried to impress upon the youth culture of today was the value of happiness, the value of selflessness, and the ideal of being willing to take risks.

Happiness takes a huge role in this movie. When the movie begins, Chris believes that he can be perfectly happy on his own. He even makes the statement that you don’t need human relationships to make you happy, that God puts happiness all around us. His view of happiness slowly changes as he grows in this show. He realizes that while he might not need others happiness at first, that they need his. He realizes by the end of the movie that his view on happiness was so wrong, as seen in his journal. He writes an entry a few days before he dies, and says that “Happiness is only real when shared.” This teaches a huge lesson to the youth of today’s culture. A lot of times, today’s youth do not realize what happiness they have. They don’t realize that, even though things might be rough, they have happiness if they are just willing to accept the people around them and realize that they have faults.

Today’s youth need to learn the value of selflessness as well. From the day Chris began college, he started down a path of selflessness. He took classes in the politics of third-world countries and the food crisis in these countries. He realizes through these classes that there is a much simpler way to live. Chris does take this to the extreme by burning all his money and destroying his car, but I believe he has a message in that as well. He’s showing us that sometimes it is necessary to do something this drastic in order to get people’s attention, and to experience what real selflessness is like. He tells his former boss that things are way easier and not as fun when he has money in his pockets, which goes to show that it would be beneficial to be selfless.

We do not come from a society of risk-takers. From the moment you’re born, you’re taught to play it safe. Never touch the stove, always cross at the crosswalk, and don’t leave the yard. As you grow older, this only gets worse as you’re told to always study so you can have great grades, go to college so you can get a better job, and the list goes on. Chris defies the rule of playing it safe. He does get a college degree, but he never ends up using that degree. He instead destroys everything he has and sets off on the biggest adventure of his life. During one of his stops on the way, he tells an elderly gentleman who becomes like his grandfather that he needs to be willing to take risks, and to get off his butt to see the world. This is a concept that every person can apply to their lives.

While it is true that Chris takes things to the extreme, he has some very valuable lessons that can be taught to the youth today. He teaches them about true happiness, selflessness, and taking risks. As a youth in today’s culture, I learned a lot by watching Chris. I can only hope that he continues to reach out to others through this movie. After all, as he told the elderly grandfather figure, “People just need to change the way they look at things.”

Weekend excitement and other such thoughts

This weekend was really fun!! On thursday night (Yes, I'm starting my weekend there), my fabulous freshman year roomate, Ally, and my amazing friend Nora had their synchronized swimming show. They were both AMAZING!!!!! The show was fun. John-John (ally's bf) was late (coughcough) but since he's a cop and had to work later, it's ok. It was great to see them, and the show was fun. Afterwards, we went across the street to beansprout for some late-night food.

Friday was fun. I spent the morning doing a case on abortion, and we only made it through the first of 7 points. hahahha. :P Then afterwards, I came home, took a nap, and did some homework and chores. I went with mom and dad to hear Wade Taylor speak...he basically reminds me of my granddaddy's best friend, John Arvelo. He's a fantastic speaker, and has some great theology.

I went to Meredith Saturday afternoon and picked up my friend Abigail, drove back to her house, and rode with all but 2 of her family members allll the way up to gorgeous VA and the Alexander's fantastic house!! They were having a barn dance, and it was so much fun! Meredith, your farm is PERFECT for that, and the loft was amazing for dancing. Though I must admit, the caller made things a tad complicated sometimes. :P BUT we did dance a few rounds of the Virginia Reel...I haven't danced that since I was knee-high to a grasshopper (ok, maybe not THAT small, but still), so it was a ton of fun. After an adventurous car ride home, I spent the night at Abigail's, and then went to church this morning. Afterwards I came home and yes, I did end up taking a much-needed nap...I figured the homework could wait. :)

The semester is starting to wind down...there's only 10 more days of actual school!!! I have several projects that need to be finished...yikes! I am very happy this semester is winding down...I need that month-long break. too many papers and stuff have been due this semester.

This next week will be slightly busy...I have poem recitations, papers, projects, and tests. And on friday, I have a photoshoot with the fabulous Christi Ann photography. I've known Christi since....we were 10 or so, so I am super excited. :)

I'm gonna leave y'all with my latest song addiction. This is "Things I Don't Understand" by Coldplay...they are fantastic, and the song is (fairly) true. Check it out. :) Later! Things I Don't Understand

thoughts right now

There's a lot of things running through my mind tonight. Rather than try to explain them all, I'm going to list a couple song lyrics and how they are applying to my life right now.

"Evens rock. Evens roll. Evens rock and evens roll and evens rock and roll." Yes, we swept CORN!!! Seniors 1st, Sophomores 2nd!!!!! Corn-unity did abound, but I am still happy that we took 1 and 2. :)

"the hardest part was letting go, not taking part" This song is something that I think about 4 of my friends are going to get....and if you're not those 4, then it won't make sense to you. but I feel like I'm getting to the point where I need to let go...I've reached a certain level with this where I have let go, but I have still participated, if to a limited amount, in this, and i'm bowing out as of now.

" If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends, Make it last forever friendship never ends, If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give, Taking is too easy, but that's the way it is." My big sis is a member of the BathTub Ring '10, which is an even class tradition (singing group of 5 girls). The girls sang this tonight. It's always been a favorite song of mine...and I feel like it really stood out to a few of us. Our friendship will never end. Not if it's true friendship.

"I hear You say, "My love is over. It's underneath. It's inside. It's in between. The times you doubt Me, when you can't feel. The times that you question, 'Is this for real? ' The times you're broken.The times that you mend. The times that you hate Me, and the times that you bend. Well, My love is over, it's underneath. It's inside, it's in between. These times you're healing, and when your heart breaks.
The times that you feel like you're falling from grace. The times you're hurting.The times that you heal. The times you go hungry, and are tempted to steal.
The times of confusion, in chaos and pain. I'm there in your sorrow, under the weight of your shame. I'm there through your heartache. I'm there in the storm.
My love I will keep you, by My pow'r alone. I don't care where you fall, where you have been. I'll never forsake you, My love never ends. It never ends."" I know this one is long...but it still stands out to me. I've been broken completely lately. I've had so much stripped away. God has completely humbled me to the point of breaking....and yet He's been there with me every single step of the way. I've suffered heartache in the past year like none other....I've had family members who were close to me pass away, and it's caused me to question my faith like nothing else. Yet through it all God was there leading me and comforting me. And I know He'll continue to be...i just have to trust Him.

Just a couple random thoughts....and now that it's like 2:30 in the morning, I'm heading to bed. NIGHT!!! :)

I'd like to make myself believe that planet earth turns slowly...

What musical instrument do you play?
Piano.

who is the person you love the most?
Jesus!

what is love?
1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (agreed!).

do you currently like anyone?
Well, I'd plead the fifth, but thanks to politics I can't in this case. SOOOOO I'm simply going to decline to answer and ask for transactional immunity should I be asked this question (thank you Dr. Frazier!)

What is the meaning of life?
42

Do you like thunderstorms?
I adore them.

Do you drink coffee?
Indeed!

Do you like to bake/cook?
I adore it! cooking and baking is a stress reliever.

What are your "comfy clothes"?
my favorite sweats, a favorite t-shirt of mine, and a hoodie.

What colour are your eyes?
Mostly blue, but they can look green or purplish depending on the light or what I'm wearing.

If you could time travel, what would be your first stop?
either to the civil war, or to the era of pride and prejudice.

What is your natural hair color?
blondish brownish.

Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt?
uh...neither.

Whats the First Thing You Notice In A Boy/Girl?
Eyes usually. But character quickly follows.

What language would you like to speak fluently?
Gaelic

Desktop or Laptop?
both. My laptop is convenient, but any files I want are stored on my desktop.

Whats your favorite sport?
Swimming, Skating, Softball, Basketball, and Football. Not necessarily in that order. :P

Are you in love?
I think love takes significant time, so no.

How many kids (or any at all) would you want to have?
At LEAST 6.

Sour or sweet candy?
chocolate. So neither. :P

Favorite hot drink?
a favorite tea of mine.

City or the suburbs?
neither. Give me a home in the country, thank you.

What religion did you choose to follow?
I'm a christian, but it's not a religion, it's a relationship with my Lord and Savior.

Performing Arts, Fine Arts, or Sports?
Any and all!!!!

What is your favorite color?
purple, pink, or teal.


beach or mountain?
both. I love both...but mountains mostly. beach is too flat.

who do you count on when feeling down
My friends and my family.

do you plan in advance
Sometimes, yes.

What attracts you most?
To the opposite sex? I'm going to go with a love for Jesus, stability, treats his family amazing, preferably a country boy but that's not a requirement, taller than me (but that's not hard...haha).

How many hobbies do you have
A few

Do you say "I love you" in the relationship?
I can't imagine why not....love is a beautiful thing.


Describe your perfect Sunday morning?
Waking up, going to church, coming home and curling up beside someone I love and taking a beautiful nap. :)

If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?
Either Montana, Virginia, or Ireland.

If you have friends coming for supper what would you cook?
I'm not sure...which friends?

What is your favourite word?
Phantasmagoria. (has memories for several people in my highschool english class.)

What makes you cry?
a few things...songs, movies, and books mostly.

What makes you laugh?
I adore laughing.

If you won the lottery, how would you spend your millions?
I'd save some of it, invest in a ranch, and donate the rest.

What 3 words would your best friend use to describe you?
I'm not sure...she'll have to answer that one! :)

Where do you see yourself in five years?
Hopefully finished with school and teaching somewhere.

Do you own any pets, and if so what do you have?
I have a dog (doc)

Who do you admire most?
My mom and my grandparents.

Do you have any tattoos, and if so what and where?
None.

When do you plan on getting married?
Whenever God so wishes. Hopefully it'll be in the next few years, but it's His choice.

How do you feel?
relaxed.

What size shoes do you wear?
8 1/2

Water or 100% Juice?
MMM either


Would you rather lose an arm or a leg?
NEITHER!!

Favorite Place to Eat?
This little italian family-owned place in Urbanna, VA. Angelo's is the best places ever.

Opera, Musical, Concert, Play, Performance, or Other?
Any and all.


What are some of your favorite Disney Films?
Oh, gosh. Beauty and the Beast, Peter Pan, Cinderella, Mary Poppins, Hercules...I could go on.

What was your last thought?
Something about Pemberly estate....hahaha

Favorite fruit?
hmmm.....peaches or pears.

Describe yourself in 3 words?
Romantic. Stubborn. Dreamer.

Do you eat cold cereal at night?
Not usually.

What is your favorite TV show?
The Office or Scrubs

Kill the spider or let it out?
KILL IT!!!

Do you shower every single day?
Yes, I have to.

Where do you want to travel next?
Montana, back to Vermont, Ireland, England...I can go on. hahaha

What is your favorite place?
The farm.

If you could have one super human power what would you choose?
To be invisible.

Vitamin Water or Gatorade?
Vitamin Water

Flip flops or tennis shoes?
flipflops.

What is your favorite song of all time?
I could never choose that. Ever.

Random collection of thoughts

I'm not kidding you, this post is about the most random you will see. It's basically a list of things running through my head

1) I want to be in Montana.
2) Why do teachers always schedule due-dates on the same day?
3) Sundrop makes me happy
4) I love baking....not sure why. It's comforting.
5) I like driving when I'm in the car by myself....it's comforting
6) I unfortunately don't have time for this anymore
7) Pride and Prejudice should be a household staple
8) Disney music is the best music to write a paper to
9) There is way too much violence in movies...and having to watch them for school makes it worse
10) I miss being 8 and not having to do so much work
11) I enjoy school, except when I have this amount of homework,
12) God is amazing
13) Nothing else matters except what He wants for my life
14) Some things I will never understand, but I have to trust that God knows what's best
15) My life is NOT a Shakespearean tragedy.
16) I can't wait til I can have kids....I want a ton of them
17) I also just discovered Meredith has a harp department? Looks like I'll be taking that
18) The weather is gorgeous outside
19) I'm excited about cornhuskin' on friday
20) I have the best friends in the world.