Friday, August 28, 2009

The Purpose of Prayer

My utmost for His Highest Oswald Chambers August 28th

". . . one of His disciples said to Him, ’Lord, teach us to pray . . .’ —Luke 11:1

Prayer is not a normal part of the life of the natural man. We hear it said that a person’s life will suffer if he doesn’t pray, but I question that. What will suffer is the life of the Son of God in him, which is nourished not by food, but by prayer. When a person is born again from above, the life of the Son of God is born in him, and he can either starve or nourish that life. Prayer is the way that the life of God in us is nourished. Our common ideas regarding prayer are not found in the New Testament. We look upon prayer simply as a means of getting things for ourselves, but the biblical purpose of prayer is that we may get to know God Himself.

"Ask, and you will receive . . ." ( John 16:24 ). We complain before God, and sometimes we are apologetic or indifferent to Him, but we actually ask Him for very few things. Yet a child exhibits a magnificent boldness to ask! Our Lord said, ". . . unless you . . . become as little children . . ." ( Matthew 18:3 ). Ask and God will do. Give Jesus Christ the opportunity and the room to work. The problem is that no one will ever do this until he is at his wits’ end. When a person is at his wits’ end, it no longer seems to be a cowardly thing to pray; in fact, it is the only way he can get in touch with the truth and the reality of God Himself. Be yourself before God and present Him with your problems— the very things that have brought you to your wits’ end. But as long as you think you are self-sufficient, you do not need to ask God for anything.

To say that "prayer changes things" is not as close to the truth as saying, "Prayer changes me and then I change things." God has established things so that prayer, on the basis of redemption, changes the way a person looks at things. Prayer is not a matter of changing things externally, but one of working miracles in a person’s inner nature."

Thursday, August 27, 2009

To give?

It's taken me until now to understand a principle that an old tcc friend of mine mentioned years ago. It comes down to the principle of giving selflessly. There's a homeless lady who begs on the exit I take every single day going to school. I've passed her countless times, without ever thinking another thought. Yet the last few days, I've been thinking, "What if I were in her shoes?" I felt God was saying that even a gesture can mean more to her than anything, and I needed to trust Him. When I went to hand her something this morning, she looked at me and replied "Thank you, baby, God bless you." Why is it that I've never seen an atheist beggar? They all say God bless you.

I know the average person would say that they're just using it for drugs/booze whatever. But by trusting the person to use the money worthwhile, I feel like you're giving them more than just money. You're giving them your trust, which is worth far more than any gift you could give them. They might spend the money using other things, but that's their responsibility. I am called, as a Christian, to selflessly serve those around me.

Now that doesn't just include giving 5 bucks to the person on the street or whatever. I feel like it also includes volunteer to soup kitchens and the like. Look at the beauty of Mother Teresa. She's so renowned because she spent her entire life giving selflessly, not caring about what she was facing, or whether the people she was serving were deserving of her time and energy. She just gave, which is what I feel like God calls us to do as Christians.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

I dreamed myself thousand times around the world...

I got on here to write something unrelated to this, but I feel like I need this entry, so I'm posting it, even though it started out as a weird rant. I've got a wide variety of friends, all with different characteristics. But the one thing that they all have in common that I don't with them is this: They aren't going to college, and I am. Now, I'm not going to argue that college is the only way to go. Nor am I going to argue that they are wrong, because I don't believe they are. I do, however, find myself wondering sometimes, whether or not I actually fit in. The life I've chosen is different. Sure, I'm getting a licensure to teach, which isn't like I'm leaving the area or anything extremely drastic. But I sometimes feel like I am one in a million when it comes to my friends. They talk about sleepovers, parties, swim team, and having fun, and I'm stuck inside, reviewing movies for Dr. English, doing stats homework for Dr. Johnson, reading chapters of info for Dr. Martinson, or typing up a case brief for Dr. Frazier. Now, I enjoy every single one of these things, though admittedly, not all at once. I have a love for learning, and I love every class I have ever had (even the ones I complain about at the time). But I hate how, once the school year starts, I feel like I am no longer a part of my circle of friends, because I don't have the time to goof off like I do during the summer. I know I'll continue to see them, whenever possible, but it's not the same during the school year, because I have a totally different set of responsibilities to handle. And I know it's probably me overreacting, but I can't help but wonder sometimes what my life would have been like had I not chosen to further my education....

Now onto homework loads this month...yeah, I think this semester is going to murder me. I'm taking 18 hours, which seemed easy, until I started the classes. THey're all writing intensive classes, so I'm going to be writing at least 4 essays a week. At least. and 8 or so case briefs per stuff. I do, however, love my classes and my professors, so maybe that will make the load a little more fun and easier to accomplish.

And finally, Anna and I have this ingenious idea of a road race across country. More on that later. :P

I want a love that will last

The BBC believes most people will have read only 6 of the 100 books here. How do your reading habits stack up?

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte

4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6 The Bible

7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott

12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulk
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
19 The Time Traveler’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger

20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
34 Emma - Jane Austen
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini

38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell

42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44 A Prayer for Owen Meany - John Irving
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan

51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52 Dune - Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley

59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime - Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding
69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett

74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Inferno – Dante

77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte’s Web - EB White
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

As you can tell, I have FAR outread this book list. :P And finally, I'm leaving you with a link to my latest musical obsession. I couldn't find a youtube link, so here's a playlist link. The third one on there is the one I'm listening to. It's the 3:32 one in length.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009


Since school's about to start, I figured I'd post my schedule over here so if any of you need to get up with me, you'll know when I'm in class or not. ;)

Monday and Wednesday:
Politics 301 @ 11 with Dr. Frazier
Math 245 @ 2 with Dr. Johnson
History 103 @ 3:30 with Dr. Martinson

Tuesday and Thursday:
English 358 @ 9:30 with R. Duncan
English 200 @ 12:30 with R. Duncan
English 240 @ 2 with S. English

Politics 301 @ 11 with Dr. Frazier

Quiz copied from Meredith and Lizzie

1. What two qualities do you want most in your future husband (besides being a Christian)? The same sacrificial love for his family that I saw in my granddad and humility

2. Is there a fictional character you see as a model for your future husband? Mr. Knightly or Gilbert Blythe.

3. Where do you want your wedding? My first choice is our family farm just across the NC/Va border. If I can't have that...Lizzie, could I use your front yard? :P

4. What are your views on courtship? It's complicated to explain. I'm very much against modern forms of dating, but I can also see flaws with certain forms of courtship as well. I'm for it, provided it doesn't become a legalistic, this is the only way to go, mindset.

5. Do you have a purity ring/locket? I have a purity ring that my daddy gave me on my 13th birthday, that I've worn on my left hand ever since. And it will remain there until I'm engaged.

6. Do you have or want a hope chest? I don't have one, yet I have enough stuff to fill a hope chest. I'll probably inherent my great-grandmothers.

7. Will you wear a veil at your wedding? I'm honestly not sure. More than likely, yes. But I don't know yet.

8. What kind of wedding dress do you want? I want a simple one. Nothing too big or flowing. Not a strapless, but one with cap sleeves or sleeveless. or those lace sleeves I've seen on David's Bridal. It has to be white, and floor-length, but I don't want a train, and I don't want a really expensive one.

9. What color bridesmaid dresses do you want? Either a violet colored one, or a black one. I'd like to keep the wedding party simple, and thinking that through is rather complicated 'cause I have to have my 2 cousins in the wedding, and I would love to have my best friends, but that's pretty much impossible to have everyone. And I don't care what kind of style the dresses are. I want them to be re-usable.

10. What flowers do you want in your bouquet? Lizzie's right, it depends on the season. I'd LOVE to have roses, though. I have a huge fascination and love of roses.

11. What do you want to name one of your daughters? Like Lizzie, I LOVE celtic names. Limiting me to one is impossible. Alana, Moyna, Bevin, and Mairead.

12. What do you want to name one of your sons? I can't limit this to one. Tiernan, Aidan, or Sean are my top choices for that.

13. How many kids do you want? As many as God sees fit to bless me with. I'd be happy with anywhere from 1-15. I'd love to have at least 6, but it's God's decision.

14. What music do you want to play at your wedding? Strings and piano, if possible. That one might be a little difficult, though....

15. Are you a hopeless romantic? I am, and I'm not. I am in that I love romance, I am a sucker for it. Yet I really just want a simple love, with a family surrounded by my best friends.

Friday, August 14, 2009


So I'm going to be offline for the next couple days as much as possible. My great-uncle passed away this morning, and I'm going to be traveling this weekend/beginning part of the week to our family farm and graveyard for the immediate family burial, and then to Richmond for the public burial. I have internet on my mom's phone, so you can still leave me messages, and I can still get them, I just might not always reply right away.

Saturday, August 8, 2009

A random survey since I don't have time for a real entry. :)

What were you doing 30 minutes ago? Driving. :)

Last restaurant you went to? uh....I'm not sure....i'm going to CFA in a few minutes, though.

Did you have an exciting last weekend? Um...I don't even remember what I did....I know I didn't go to church.....

Have you ever crawled through a window? Lol. Yes!! :P

Where were you at 1AM sunday morning? Probably talking to Jess or Jolie.

Last person you texted? Naam I think....

Do you like yourself? yeah

Have you ever dyed your hair? Yes, and we all know how well that didn't work.

Are you wearing a necklace? yes. I never take it off unless I'm swimming or having an MRI or something.

Is there anything in your past that you'd like to try again? sure

How's your heart lately? It's beating. :P

What is your relationship status? single

Look behind you, what do you see? my wall

How many rooms does your house have? I have no clue... a lot?

Have you ever worked in a food place? Not technically....

Who and where was the last concert you went to? Josh Gracin, Meherrin River Arts council.

Any summer plans for 2009? Summer's almost over. But hopefully a beach trip before it ends

What did you eat for lunch today? Bacon and Lettuce Sandwich.

Whats on your schedule for tomorrow? work allllll day. Calls or texts are ok. :P

The last song you heard? Summertime by Rascal Flatts (I was driving)

How do you feel about abortions?....... well how do you feel about murder? exactly

How often do you drive? Quite a lot, actually.

Do you know anyone that is currently locked up? Yep. A murderer, in fact. He and his wife (the one he murdered or supposedly did) went to my parents church in Lumberton.

Do you think you are humble? Well, if I said yes, then I wouldn't be humble, and if I said no, then I still wouldn't be humble...this is a loaded question. ;)

Last time you ate a homegrown tomato? I don't like tomatoes.

ever ordered from an infomercial? nope

Have you ever requested a song on the radio? yes

Do you hate the last girl you were talking to? nope

When is the last time you took a nap? Thursday for 15 minutes. Before's been a while.

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? My mom I think.

To text you? Haven't you already asked this?

What are you listening to? Complete silence.

Something interesting happen lately? yep

What were you doing at 8:00 this morning? Sleeping.

Do you chew on your straws? when i'm nervous

Who was the last person you rode in the car with that was under 21? mean who was driving that was under 21? Probably Matt when we went to Sound of Music.

Do you have curly hair? Negative. far from it.

Is there anyone who doesn't like you because of something you didn't do? probably

Where did you go today? Sophie's to get work info and then to starbucks. :) And now I'm going to CFA, and to Jess's improv show.

Are you a heavy sleeper? sometimes

When was the last time you hand washed the dishes? today.

Who were the last people you ate with? family

Do you have college plans? I'm in college. MC baby

Are you mad at anyone right now? nope

What is your favorite flavor of jelly? grape

Tell me about the last dream you remember having? hahahaha. It involved kayaking, my family, grave robbing, a few friends, some people I don't like, dancing, a wedding, a horse, and the river/ocean. Yeah. :P

Did you meet anybody new today? nope

Do you say aim or a-i-m? a-i-m ha I know I'm just that weird

When was the last time you talked on aim? uh.....a few weeks ago.

Would you dance to the taco song? huh?

Have you ever counted to 1,000? yeah

Have you ever been in a castle? yeah I think so

Do you have a cell-phone? yeah

Can you use chop sticks? no

Ever have cream puffs? cream puffs? what?

Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect? seen the movie? No. I've heard of the theory, though. Yeah, I know I'm a geek. ;)

Ever walked into a wall? hahahaha yeah...

Are you sarcastic? Maybe....

Where was your profile picture taken at? I don't have one on here. My fb one was at the seahawks banquet.

Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people? Somewhere around that number, but I don't hate anyone. I don't have that right.

What is your favorite animal? Dolphin. Hands down.

Can you hula hoop? Only one hoop, but yes.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Puttin' on the Ritz

So I've realized that my music is a tad...abnormal. Haha. I was walking in whole foods today picking up some ingredients for dinner tonight (homemade spaghetti sauce), and I had my iPod playing. I had three people ask me what I was listening to, and my answers were as follows: "The Rocky Road to Dublin" by the Dubliners, "Masquerade" from Phantom of the Opera, and "Ya Never Know" from Little Shop of Horrors. I got similar responses with each of them: A raised eyebrow, or a "my, you have unusual music tastes." Which I suppose is true. I do have extremely unusual music tastes. But mine are more unusual by modern standards. I don't mind listening to G105, in fact it's fun to drive to. But it's not real music. It takes no talent to sing a song like "That's Not My Name." It takes no talent to write that song, either. I think I've decided I was either born in the wrong era for music, or in the wrong country. And since music is a huge part of my life, that's not so great. Because eventually, the stations that play music I like are going to start playing music of this generation. *sigh* Dad says I just need a customized station in the car. I am forever changing the channel, because I am very particular about what I like or don't like. I wish there was a way to actually get a soundtrack channel or a celtic station without having satellite radio.