Tuesday, October 6, 2009

True Femininity

I'm sitting in class right now, listening to my *favorite* English teacher talking about feminism. Again. For the....5th class in a row. Today she started talking about an article grabber in the News and Observer. I don't agree with News and Observer all the time, or as my old debate teacher calls it, the News and Disturber, but this time I found them rather catchy. They were talking about Hillary Clinton's trips, and mentioned that she was sporting the pantsuits. Dr. D. took a MAJOR offense to this phrase, and even wrote in an editorial. Well, in order to curb my slight anger and frustration, I began writing out a list. A list of what true femininity is. Now, I don't typically share things out of my notebook, but I figured I'd post this here for the benefit of others. I can't promise that it entirely makes sense or is accurate...but it expresses my feelings on femininity.

What is True Femininity?

1) Not being ashamed about being called a lady, girl, or otherwise.
2) Knowing that wearing skirts or dresses are a mark of femininity and not being ashamed to wear them.
3) Allowing men to be gentlemen, and not assuming they are doing it because we are weak.
4) Being soft-spoken
5) Knowing how to serve
6) Not being "one of the guys" all the time.
7) Having a pure vocabulary.
8) Realizing that the beauty of a woman is her spirit and heart.
9) Being Trustworthy
10) Having good manners.
11) Being strong, yet not self-assuming
12) Taking Care of Children
13) Teaching others
14) Knowing that a career comes AFTER her family...not the other way around.
15) Listening to others, not just talking
16) Cooking.
17) Treating guys with respect, not because they are better but because they are a God-given head.
18) Having a belief in God.
19) Being Classy.
20) Not flirting with guys
21) Knowing the balance between making her own decisions, yet still relying on the advice of her spouse, significant other, or father.
22) Being graceful, and not just the way a woman walks, but her spirit.
23) Keeping her innocence
24) Having a great sense of humor
25) Knowing how to do things that most feminist women can't, because it is deemed "below them."


Abigail said...

Ahh, great list!!! Glad you posted it! =)

P.C. said...

Yes, it is a good list. I thanks for posting it and believing in Femininity.

Euphreana said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Euphreana said...

[Note: I'd wanted to send this as an email instead, for obvious reasons, but since I couldn't, I decided to risk looking like a troll and posting here. :)]

Nice list! Oddly enough, I've been musing and doing a bit of research (and writing) on femininity myself. Not that I don't agree on some of those points, but I'd like to comment on a few (My long-lost friendly-fellow-debater side has suddenly popped up. :) )

4) Being soft-spoken.
This is an odd point to work with. By 'soft-spoken', do you mean literally, or as 'not an usurper'? I agree that true femininity means not being a loud-mouthed troublemaker, but there are times when a true woman would have to make a solid stand and not be soft-spoken; to still speak with respect, but to speak surely and clearly, and not necessarily quietly. There are women in the bible who are considered feminine, but still had to do this.

12) Taking Care of Children
Just figuratively speaking, what if a woman can't have children and is in a situation where she can't adopt or otherwise take care of others'? (Yes, she should be willing and able to, but what if?)

13) Teaching others
A real woman is a teacher, but I'm not positive it's a requirement. Hm. I must think about this!

16) Cooking.
So... a guy who cooks is feminine? (Okay, I know the answer to that one. But personally, I thinking the art of cooking has been wrongly attributed to females for a variety of reasons.)

23) Keeping her innocence
Could you define 'innocence'?

On a side note; 7, 9, 10, 15, 18, and 24 are all very good things and are quite desirable to be in any person, but... it might be argued a girl could contradict those and still be feminine. (Not saying I believe it, but a different person might raise that point.)

Lucy In The Sky said...

There are some things I agree with on this list, and some I don't. I love your outlook on these things and how you live them out. One thing I will say is, in regards to your comments on feminists. I believe that the feminist you've described here are usually the more extremist, man-hating, bra-burning, stereotypical feminists. I just felt like mentioning that there are other feminists who are more egalitarians (those who simply believe in equality for all regardless of race, age, gender, etc.). I tend to fall into that latter category. And yet, I, too, believe in femininity.

Allie said...

Faith: 4) by being soft-spoken, I don't mean the meek, mousey type. I'm referring to the soft-spokenness that comes in not usurping. I definitely don't have a problem with speaking out when I need to. (As I'm sure a few people can attest to!!) :P
12) If not, then that point is invalid. It's not a requirement for femininity...yet, when in the situation, a woman should be able to do that.
13) I feel like it is. The Bible instructs the elder women to teach the younger. So as a Biblical woman I feel like it should be a requirement,
16) HAHA! No, I didn't mean to imply that. I seriously LOVE it when a guy cooks for me. BUT it should be a part of femininity. Not to say that a guy can't cook, but a girl should at the very least be able to boil water.
23) Innocence is defined as being in the world yet not of it. Is that enough of a definition? (I feel like I'm in debate...hahaha)

Good point. I shall have to consider that more...I think it's totally possible, and probable in fact, that someone could contradict this and still be feminine. These are in no means requirements for EVERYONE. This is just from my viewpoint of things. and yes, my friendly debater self pops out all the time. :P

Allie said...

Jolie: That's true. And I was refering to the crazy, man-hater feminist. I've seen both sides of it, and I think feminism has a pretty valid place. Within our history, it's been necessary in fact. Yet people have taken it beyond it's initial purpose (for equality) and made it this insane man-hating religion of sorts. And that's more what I was referring to. :P

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