This song is pretty much describing my life right now. For months and even years, I've acted like I've had it all together. I applied to one school (Meredith), and got accepted. I told everyone what I wanted to major in (English or Political Science). I said I was going to be either a teacher, lawyer, or FBI agent. But I just came to the realization recently that I don't have it all together. I don't have a clue what I want to major in or do. I don't know what my future holds.
To be honest, that scares me. I've always hated change with every fiber of my being. When I was little, I can remember crying when Dad had two of our trees cut down. I wasn't upset because these trees meant anything to me, but it meant that my yard would never be the same again. Even though change has always scared me, unknown change scares me more. I've wished so many times that I knew what my future had in store; that way, I wouldn't have to be afraid of certain things.
I'm terrified of losing the friends that have become so dear to me over my high school years. I've seen my parents, their friends, and even some of my friends drift away from the people they grew up with and were so close to. This is the last thing I ever want to happen.
I'm also really, really scared about college. I know I'll still be in town, and I've said it won't be so bad since a bunch of my friends are gonna be like 5 minutes away from me at State. But it's going to be a huge experience for me; unless Julie ends up going, I'm not going to know anyone attending. To go from a class of about 12 into a class of about 1,500 is definitely not going to be easy for me. Living in a dorm with half that class is going to be very difficult. Just spending one night there proved that to me.
And so I leave you with the lyrics to the song I posted:
"Superman" by Five for Fighting:
I can’t stand to fly
I’m not that naive
I’m just out to find
The better part of me
I’m more than a bird...i’m more than a plane
More than some pretty face beside a train
It’s not easy to be me
Wish that I could cry
Fall upon my knees
Find a way to lie
About a home I’ll never see
It may sound absurd...but don’t be naive
Even heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed...but won’t you concede
Even heroes have the right to dream
It’s not easy to be me
Up, up and away...away from me
It’s all right...you can all sleep sound tonight
I’m not crazy...or anything...
I can’t stand to fly
I’m not that naive
Men weren’t meant to ride
With clouds between their knees
I’m only a man in a silly red sheet
Digging for kryptonite on this one way street
Only a man in a funny red sheet
Looking for special things inside of me
Inside of me
Inside me
Yeah, inside me
Inside of me
I’m only a man
In a funny red sheet
I’m only a man
Looking for a dream
I’m only a man
In a funny red sheet
And it’s not easy, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm...
Its not easy to be me
Friday, February 29, 2008
Superman
Posted by Allie at 7:32 PM 4 comments
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Randomness
So my friend Jess, whom I've known like all HER life, and I have a blog now. It's basically about how her Super Honeycutt thwarts my Peppermint Guy. It's going to be the randomest ever, so if it doesn't make any sense, I'm sorry. Deal with it. :P I'm still going to keep this one, and I'll probably update this one more than the other. But the other is strictly for our craziness and nothing besides that will be posted. http://honeypepper.blogspot.com/
Posted by Allie at 1:44 PM 6 comments
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Great Expectations
So I got back from Bri's party and 24 hours at Meredith College yesterday. It was definitely interesting. I had a total of like 15 hours of sleep in 72 hours, so needless to say I was a bit tired today.
Bri's party was definitely fun. It was great to get to hang out with everyone again. :P I can't even begin to describe it. Laser tag, Alan and I against everyone else, Go-carts, climbing up four levels of stairs, listening to the boys singing, getting my wrist twisted off in the car, my hair smelling like smoke for 3 days, Cindy Crawford, calls at midnight...that doesn't even cover it.
Meredith was very crazy. From 2-5, we were divided up into seven groups, and throughout that time we had our 20 minute interviews. During the time we weren't in interviews, we were watching/participating in these 4 lectures. The first three were pretty boring (Honors in general, research, and study abroad). The last one I'm still not sure why they had us do this. We had a discussion about the upcoming presidential election. This was led by, who else, 2 liberal feminists who graduated about 2 years ago. Lets just say I definitely had fun 'debating' some of the more liberal girls there.
After all this and dinner, we went back to our hosts rooms and hung out for the rest of the night. Abby and Sarah (my room hosts) were totally awesome. I definitely hope that I can hang out with them a little while I'm there. I met several really awesome girls who are definitely coming to Meredith in the fall. I'm pretty excited about getting to hang out with them next year. Especially Allison (Ally was in the room next to mine, and is waiting for Teaching Fellows).
The next day was pretty boring. The best part was getting to go to a class, but I had a professor that I had sat in on a class with before. He's really good, though.
I'm still really torn about the honors program. I would love the money, but I am not sure if I want to spend my time in it. My parents have really been pushing it, but I still need some time to think about it.
In other news, I graduate in a little under 3 months....EEK!!!!! I can't believe it's so close. 13 years has flown by SO fast. I'm really looking forward to it, though. College will be a great experience, and I so can't wait. Plus a bunch of my friends will be around the corner at State, so it'll be great to go over and hang out with them.
Posted by Allie at 9:59 AM 7 comments
Thursday, February 14, 2008
The St. Valentines Day....pig?
The St Valentine's Day porker: Piglet born with heart-shaped spots
(follow the link at the bottom for pics of Valentine)
A cute little piglet born with heart-shaped markings on his side is the centre of attention as lovers gear up for Valentine's Day this week.
The 10-day-old Gloucester Old Spot piglet christened Valentine - what else? - is one of a litter of seven born at Byford's Farm in Taynton, near Newent, Glos.
Farmer Eric Freeman, 75 - a founding member of the Gloucester Old Spot Pig Breeders' Club - said Valentine's mother Mandi Lou has already got used to her piglet stealing the show.
"Some sows get really annoyed and squeal but Old Spots are known for being quiet," he said.
"Mandi Lou was very good and didn't mind Valentine having her picture taken.
"I've bred thousands of Old Spot piglets over the years but this is the first ever to have such a clear heart-shaped mark.
"It couldn't be more appropriate with Valentine's Day just around the corner."
Mr Freeman has been breeding Old Spots at his farm for 25 years and said the breed has come back from near-extinction in the past few years.
"I think there are probably around 400 members of the breeders' club and they have spread far and wide," he said.
"There has been a lot of interest because they are a fatty breed and it's a different taste to the normal type of pig - it's much more succulent."
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=513659&in_page_id=1770
Posted by Allie at 12:19 PM 1 comments
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
*sigh*
So one of my wonderful theatre friends, Jamie, just got engaged to an incredible, sweet guy, Jason or "Monkey", who was one of our techies at one point. I absolutely love the way he proposed . Check out Jamie's xanga for more info http://www.xanga.com/bujinkankid/641650579/wedding-stuff.html
Posted by Allie at 4:58 PM 0 comments
Monday, February 11, 2008
A Grammy?
Barack Obama Wins Grammy for Spoken Word Book
LOS ANGELES (AP) ― Barack Obama topped a Clinton in another contest on Sunday -- the Grammys.
The presidential candidate beat both former Presidents Bill Clinton and Jimmy Carter to win best spoken word album for his audio version of his book "The Audacity Of Hope: Thoughts On Reclaiming The American Dream."
Clinton was nominated for his book "Giving: How Each of Us Can Change the World" and Carter for "Sunday Mornings in Plains: Bringing Peace to a Changing World." Also nominated was Maya Angelou and Alan Alda.
Sens. Obama and Hillary Rodham Clinton are battling for the Democratic nomination for president; both have won key states, though Obama has the most recent wins, capturing the Louisiana primary and caucuses in Nebraska and Washington state on Saturday.
Though Clinton and Carter lost, they both have won the category before (Clinton, twice). And Hillary Rodham Clinton took home a Grammy in 1996 for her audio version of the book, "It Takes A Village."
http://cbs2chicago.com/local/grammys.grammy.award.2.650560.html
Posted by Allie at 9:58 AM 1 comments
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
My life as a soundtrack
IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool - first songs only
Opening Credits- Time in a Bottle- Jim Croce
Waking Up - Girl Can't Help It- Journey
First Day of School - Welcome to My Life - Simple Plan
Falling in Love - The Sweetest Thing - U2
Fight Song - Supergirl - Krystal Harris
Breaking Up - The Lady Is a Tramp- Erin Dilly (from Babes in Arms)
Prom - Spanish Fly -Van Halen
Life's Ok - Heaven - DJ Sammy
Mental Breakdown - Trouble - Pink
Driving - For the Love of a Princess - James Horner (from Braveheart)
Flashback - Jacob's Dream - Alison Krauss
Getting Back Together - Even Then - Nichole Nordeman
Wedding - Lost in This Moment - Big and Rich
The Night Before the War - Picture to Burn- Taylor Swift
Final Battle - Never Gonna Let You Go -Sergio Mendes
Moment of Triumph - Only What You Make of It - Little Big Town
Death Scene - I Think The World Needs a Drink - Terri Clark
Funeral Song - The Will - Mark Chesnutt
End Credits - Hey Baby - Bruce Channel (from Dirty Dancing)
Posted by Allie at 1:30 PM 2 comments
Monday, February 4, 2008
Superbowl
So the Superbowl made me happy. The Pats didn't go undefeated. The Giants won. The Giants sacked Brady so many times, it was amazing. That Eli Manning is one incredibly awesome QB. That play where he got away from a sack and threw that pass was aboslutely jaw-dropping.
The commercials weren't so hot, but neither were they horrible. I really liked the talking baby ones, Shaq as a jockey, the fed-ex carrier pigeons one, and the Rocky-themed Bud Light commercial. I'm sure there were other good ones, I just can't remember them.
Posted by Allie at 1:01 PM 1 comments