On Romance, Summer, and Birthdays

Sarah and Mike's wedding was this weekend. Because my mom was directing the wedding, and I was assisting, I had the wonderful privilege of being able to witness the rehearsal as well as the wedding. They have the love story I dream of. They were friends long before a courtship ever began, so it began on the basis of friendship. Their first kiss was at the alter, and because of the intense love for God first, then each other, you know their marriage will last forever. Their love for each other is in fact a good example of what God's love for us must be like. Everything about the wedding was so relaxed. It all came off perfectly. I love the songs that were sung at the wedding...they all had such significance.

For me, it kind of hit home. Jess posted an entry on her blog that basically described what I was going to say here. So read her entry to get more details on what I'm not elaborating on here. :) But I have also struggled with singleness. If I had been born barely a hundred years ago, I would have been married by now. And if I had been born a hundred years before that, I'd probably have several kids by now. I'm 19...doesn't that mean I should be courted? When I was little, I used to dream that someone I've known forever would come in, sweep me off my feet, and then I'd end up being married as soon as I finished college. But going off to college was a shock for me in a lot of ways. The conversations with the girls often consisted of who everyone was dating, how far they've gone with their boyfriends or even ex's, who still had their v-card, and why everything you do is fine as long as you don't cross the border into sex "until you're ready". Even those who were Christians thought that sex before marriage was acceptable, provided that it was when you were in a serious commitment, such as being engaged.

After this experience, I realized how few people actually think the way we think. Few people are willing to wait for the right man we are supposed to marry. Few people are saving their all for their future partner. And few people, even, understand the concept of courtship. But I'm willing to wait. For the right man, for everything that I want to experience with him, and for the courtship process. God will provide the man at the right time. Granted, that doesn't mean I can just sit down and wait. I'm preparing my life for my future husband, by serving my family and those around me. And if you will all encourage me to do this, that would be amazing. :)

Onto summer. :) It's so weird not being in classes! I'm still not sure if I like it or not. I've missed having stuff to do, but it's true that I did need a downtime. After talking things over with my mom, I've decided that I'm not going to be swimming this summer, but I will be coming to the meets and stuff to cheer you guys on!! :) And I'll be spending 2 weeks in VA helping both of my grandmothers with their respective houses.

Speaking of which, today is Barbara's birthday!! She's always been the best grandma I could ever have wanted. This is her first birthday since Dan died, so I know things are really hard for her today. But she's so sweet, so I wanted to wish Barbara a happy, happy birthday!!! :)

I Keep Coming Back-Josh Gracin

I told myself getting out
That’s what this is all about
Sun goes up, sun goes down
You only get one go around
Then I left this town

Then I let that road carry me
As far as it could carry me
Stood on a mountain free
Found a place where I could breathe, in and out
And thought about things that I can’t live without

Chorus:
I keep coming back
Time after time
No matter where I’m at
I can’t pretend
I’ve found something better than where I’ve been
Cause where I’m from
Is who I am
And no matter how far that I run
Yea I keep coming back

See the more people change
The more that they stay the same
So I just stopped everything
Thought about all the things
Weighing me down
Then I threw out old boxes
Emptied my pockets
Of regrets and love letters
Pictures and lockets

And all I have now
Is the truth that I’ve found
Life has a way
Of just turning around
And around
And around

Chorus:
I keep coming back
Time after time
No matter where I’m at
I can’t pretend
I’ve found something better than where I’ve been
Cause where I’m from
Is who I am
And no matter how far that I run
Yea I keep coming back

To the town on the hill
So peaceful and still
And my memories are at

I keep coming back
Time after time
No matter where I’m at
I can’t pretend
I’ve found something better than where I’ve been
Cause where I’m from
Is who I am
And no matter how far that I run
No matter how far
No matter how far that I run
Yea I keep coming back
I keep coming back
I keep coming back

And I'll be here when you come back down...

This year has taught me so much. I've realized how much I dislike and don't trust the people I thought I'd be friends for life with, and how the people I never thought I'd ever be friends with have become the people that help me through the day here. I realized that I don't have to be liked by everyone, just the people that matter a lot. I realized that I had fallen from God, and how amazing it is to return to Him...makes me feel a little like the prodigal son. I've learned to give everything to God...my current life as well as my future. I've learned the importance of family...they will always be there for you with open arms when you need a shoulder to cry on. And I've learned how important some of my friendships are....Lizzie, Jess, Julie...I don't know how I'd get through life without y'all. I've missed so much what I had in high school. It truly was a great life. I'm hoping by moving home next year, I'll be able to at least return to my true heart, and not what I've been conforming to and playing along with this year.

There's been some crazy drama around here. I talked to my aunt the other day, and she shared something with me, that I thought I'd post on here. This aunt oftentimes doesn't show any leaning towards Christianity, but she told me that I needed to pray the serenity prayer over the dorm situation. I hadn't thought about that, but immediately when she said that, I knew praying this was what was needed. So the prayer goes like this:

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

You are my hope....

"But I trust in your unfailing love.I will rejoice because you have rescued me." Psalm 13:5


It's taken some drastic things lately for me to realize how much I have been relying on myself or others to get me through life, not on God. This semester, I've realized how fickle and insecure I am when I don't rely on the principles of God. I've toyed with several careers, and several schools, all in a search for pleasure. All in search for what I'VE wanted. What I think would satisfy me. I'm still not sure what I nor God want to do with my life. But I'm returning to my true love, God. I'm returning to my heart. I would request prayer as I continue to figure this out, and prayer that I would know what to do.

Just a Girl Born in Dixie...

I'm sitting in Geo class and bored out of my wit, so I figured it was a good time to post a blog entry! :) Let's see, a lot's been going on lately. I've applied for transfer to UNCW and William and Mary. Why I want to leave is a little confusing, but basically I feel like Meredith isn't where I'm supposed to remain for 3 more years. I've changed my major as well. Now I'm an English and History major with a 9-12 education licensure. I really want to go to either Africa on the mercy ships or somewhere in Ireland on missions work when I graduate college. Either that or return back to the town my family was raised in and teach there.

There's been a lot of crazy drama going on around here at school lately. I've now realized why I hung around with only guys (except Jess, of course) for the first like 10 years of my life. Guys are sooooo much easier to be around all the time, and Meredith definitely doesn't have any guys around. haha. Classes this semester are rather boring and annoying. I know everything I'm learning...I wish there was a way to skip freshman level classes all together.

Spring Break is next week!!! Heck yeah!!! Haha. I'm excited about that one. Peter's coming up on Saturday, and we're hanging out then. On Monday, I'm heading up to Urbana, Virginia, to see barbara, who's like my other grandma. Urbana is on the rappahanock(sp) river, so I'm sure I'll be out in the boat that week. :) We just got back from a weekend in Virginia. It was Nana and Pawpaw kish's 50th wedding anniversary, and there were over 150 people there. I think it's so cool that a bunch of their friends could be there to celebrate.

I'm really wanting to make a beach run sometime soon. Anyone game for a roadtrip one weekend or something? :)

muses on life.

Ok, this isn't my work at all, but I'm copying this. My friend Ben wrote this this past semester (he goes to campbell), and I figured it was perfect to post before I write my next blog entry (which might have something to do with it. haha) Anyways, enjoy!!!

life is only enjoyable if you love it. Even when its hard. Love it. Enjoy all that you do and take chances. Life is driving up 8 floors of a parking deck just to look out at the ocean. Life is going to Harris Teeter and buying just a kiwi, a can of mandarin oranges, and sparkling grape juice and then going through the self check out just because you want a few laughs. Laugh. Laugh till you die. The shortest distance to someone else is laughter. Remember that. Make a joke. Even if its not funny. Laugh sincerely not mockingly. Love life. Life is not buying a spoon to eat the mandarin oranges and then making due with what you have...even if its a toothbrush...Life is jumping over trashcans...taking the chance it will fall. Life is getting away from the city lights and laying on the beach and figuring out astronomy. Life is hitting traffic cones...life is having the heat on and windows rolled down...life is twislers at 11 oclock...like if going into a Scotchman at 2am and simply buying fingernail clippers and meeting the cashier...life is making that cashiers night by talking with her...asking her how she is...laugh....life is being willing to go crazy, and simply not care, because if people look at you, they will either be smiling, or too cool to have a good time. Life is screaming "i feel like a woman" while driving in the car windows rolled down. life is making friends with those that you would never expect you'd be friends with. life is being random. Smiles. They cutest thing on any girl is there smile. It shows they know how to have a good time. Life is barefoot. life is not looking in the mirrors. Life is buying random people random food at mcdonalds...life is going to mcdonalds and ordering a cup of m&ms...life is experimenting with wisdom. life is knowing when something is needed. life is opening doors for the ladies. life is always working on being the better person. Life is being someone that people enjoy spending time with, simply because they never know what theyll get. life is fast. catch it. dont let it go bye you...a persons biggest fear should be that they fail to love their life. Smile. Make a joke. Stay strong. Dont let bad days put you in a mood. Shake it off and know that its not worth wasting precious moments of such a great life, on sadness. To feel new things you must be willing to try new things. Over excitement can only lead to a good time. show your emotions. begin to notice and wonder at the smallest and most wierdest things of Creation. Life is looking at a streetlight from the hood of your car and spending minutes wondering why the light seems brighter in one place than another....life isnt the denial of mistakes, but the promise that mistakes will teach you new and better things. Life is making petty bets with your buddies, life is buying flowers for any body thats had a bad day. life is not always making good decisions but enjoying the bad decisions also. Count your blessings. Always look on the brighter side, cause there always is...I promise. Life is written on cheap napkins, on tape, on skin...on anything that is available when great ideas come to mind...life is about loving it. Life is writing a long profile thingy just to convey to others who havent thought of it this way....life is amazing..... live it out. throw it down

Amarantine

Here's what i got from shuffling the songs and answering the questions with the titles.

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OK?" YOU SAY...
Sail Away-Enya

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
Hard Days Night-Beatles

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GIRL/GUY?
Your New Girlfriend-Hayden Panettiere

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Clocks-Coldplay

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
There's a Fine, Fine Line-Avenue Q soundtrack

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Sweet Thing-Keith Urban

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF VERY OFTEN?
I'd be Surprisingly Good For You-Evita Sountrack

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
There's Gotta Be More to Life-Stacie Orrico

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Holiday-Green Day

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Johnny and June-Heidi Newfield (favorite song!! AH!!! :P)

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
My Jesus-Todd Agnew

WHAT SONG WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR WEDDING?
The Call-Regina Spektor

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
I Want it That Way-Backstreet Boys

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
100 Years-Five for Fighting

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
Only Time-Enya

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
A Good Run of Bad Luck-Clint Black

A PERFECT DAY INCLUDES...
Fall into Me -Emerson Drive

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Promise of a Lifetime-Kutless

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Amarantine -Enya